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Feature

Article Date: Apr 15, 2008

Feature: How To Be An A$$...Make Enemies And Alienate People

Source: newsweek
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Are you a swell guy, everyone's sunken-chested doormat? Maybe you're a pushover of a gal, a tad overeager to please at the expense of your own tepid desires? Saps of the world, rejoice: Martin Kihn has written the book just for you.

"I was the nicest guy in the world—and it was killing me," he writes in "A$$hole: How I Got Rich and Happy by Not Giving a Damn About Anyone and How You Can Too," his new mock help masterpiece. "My life was a dictionary without the word 'no.' If you asked me for a favor—even the kind of favor that required me to go so far out of my way that I needed a map, a translator and an oxygen tank—even if I didn't know you that well, I might hesitate a second, but I'd always say yes."

Until, that is, he realized that he was competing for a promotion with a colleague he refers to as the Nemesis (a text-book a-word). Kihn resolved to "blowtorch away [his] old personality and uncover the rock-hard warrior within." Toward that end he devised a "10-step program to [anus]ism" for anyone wanting to acquaint himself with his inner über-alpha. Kihn, who has written for Spy, the New York Times Magazine and VH1's beloved "Pop-Up Video," calls his hilarious send-up of business culture "office-based satire." Think Dogbert on steroids, munching garlic bagels in public while closing deals on his Bluetooth ear thingy.

Kihn recently discussed his new life as a walking, talking sphincter with NEWSWEEK's Brian Braiker. For excerpts of the interview check out http://www.newsweek.com/id/131655?GT1=43002

 

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